英语字幕来源：opensubtitles.org 字幕翻译与制作：610/小年糕/Yiran/744/聊无/moki
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- 耶！喔！ - 操 太棒了！ - Yeah! Whoa! - Fuck, yeah!
- 耶！ - 超棒路易斯 我们做到了 哥们儿 - Yeah! - Lewis! We did it, baby.
- 五百大洋呢 - 耶 嘿嘿嘿 - Five hundred big ones. - Yeah. Hey, hey, hey.
- 给你 卡尔 省着花 - 谢谢了 - Here you go, Carl. Enjoy. - Thank you.
- 打得不错 可以可以 - 好了 哥们 - Great game. Great game. Great game. - All right, buddy.
- 照顾好自己 - 你敢相信我们输给他们了吗？ - Take care of yourself. - Do you believe we lost to them?
- 不敢 - 难以置信 - No. - It's unbelievable.
嗯 我们马上把你们的车开过来 大卫先生 Uh, we'll get your car right away, Mr. David.
今天这场球打得真不错 是吧？ What a day on the links, huh?
我从没见他打得这样好 太神奇了 I've never seen him play like that before. That was amazing.
- 我手感来了 - 你击球入洞真的准 - I'm on a roll. - Yes, you putted extraordinarily well.
我最近手特别顺 我也不知道为什么 I have some magic touch lately. I don't know what it is.
我队友也给力 你也打得不错 And I had a great partner. You were good. Don't...
行吧 我们中午吃饭请客 好吗？ All right, we'll buy lunch. All right?
- 对 我们请客 你们想去哪儿吃？ - 哦哟 好大方哦 - Yeah, we'll buy lunch. Where do you wanna eat? - Oh, boy. What sport.
- 你俩各赚了五百美金呢 - 对啊 那可是五百美金 - You made $500 each. - Yeah, you win $500,
请我们吃饭算个啥 and you're gonna buy us lunch.
- 这就当个大好人啦 - 你说去哪家吃 - Oh, you're, you're great guys. - So name the restaurant.
想去哪儿吃都行 Wherever you wanna go.
- 我们去提雅托吧 - 提雅托 - Let's go to Tiato's. - Tiato's.
对 我听说那儿挺不错 Yeah. I've heard good things about it.
嘿 我心情不错 Hey, I'm in a great mood.
你想去哪儿 我们就听你的 是吧？ Wherever you wanna go, we'll go, all right?
- 我的钱你最好花得有模有样 - 我饿死了 - You better enjoy my money. - I'm starving.
- 行了 我们饭馆见 - 等等...这是啥？ - Okay, I'll see you at the restaurant. - Wha... What is this?
- 我的新车 - 你买了一辆宾利？ - My new car. - You bought a Bentley?
- 我...我刚好... - 开宾利的人我一个都不认识 - I been, I been a... - I've never met anyone who owned a Bentley.
你开这车...到时候就有人跟踪你 然后杀了你 People... They'll follow you home and, and kill you.
- 最后把你车也偷了 - 是的 坐在斯巴鲁傲虎里安全多了 - And take your car. - Yeah. Much safer in a Subaru Outback.
行了 你有点嫉妒我有宾利 是吧？ All right, you're a little jealous of the Bentley, aren't you.
- 我不是嫉妒 我是担心 - 我没嫉妒 - I'm not jealous, I'm concerned. - I'm not jealous.
- 咱们饭馆见哈 屌丝们 - 嗯 - I'll see you at the restaurant, losers. - Yeah.
他今天击球进洞就没失手 He never missed a putt the whole day.
一次失手都没有 Not one putt.
唉 运气好吧 Ah, just a lucky day.
有点怪 不是吗？ That is odd, isn't it?
我不清楚 最多一周一次吧 I don't know. No more than once a week.
真的吗？谢丽儿和我当年是每周四次 Really? Cheryl and I had sex four times a week.
- 是吗？ - 真的吗？ - You did? - Really?
- 真的 - 我和维罗妮卡的话 - Yeah. - You know, me and Veronica,
也是一周一次 说来可惜 once a week, too, which is a shame,
因为她有一个... 'cause she's got this...
她的下面...跟有魔力一样 she got this... she's got this magical vagina.
- 哈？你在说啥？ - 哈？这话啥意思？ - Huh? What the hell are you talking about? - Huh? What does that mean?
我没法解释 但我从来没有见过... I can't really explain it. But I've never seen anything
也没有感受过那样的东西 总之... or felt anything like this. There's just something...
有种超自然的力量 就像魔法 就... supernatural. It's just magic. Just, you know what?
算了 不重要 Forget it. It doesn't matter.
算了？你指望我不去想这个？ Forget it? You expect me to forget it?
我很抱歉我提起这个话题 但我不想继续说了 I'm sorry I brought it up. I, I, I, I don't wanna talk about it.
别抱歉啊 我们又不会调侃你 No, don't be sorry. We're not gonna say anything.
就有点像...有点像一个蜂鸟窝 It just kind of... It's like this little hummingbird nest.
它有自己的思想 它是活的 It's got this mind of its own. It's just alive.
- 有自己的思想 - 是的 就这个意思 - A mind of its own. - Yeah. You could say that.
- 天哪 - 从没听过这样的 - Holy shit. - Never heard such a thing.
是啊 Yeah.
操他妈 真的？ Holy shit. Really?
- 怎么了？ - 真是操了 - What's the matter? - Holy fuck.
勒维昂贝尔不打这个赛季了 Le'Veon Bell, out for the season.
你知道喷气机队在这家伙身上砸了多少钱吗？ You know how much money the Jets paid for this guy?
你敢相信他们在他身上花了多少吗！ You have any idea of how much the Jets paid for him?
他现在整个赛季都他妈不打了 He's out for the whole goddamned season.
- 真的？ - 这个赛季还没开始 - Really? - Season's over,
就算是结束了 before it even started.
哎呀 别... 卡尔 卡尔 Please. Just... Carl. Carl.
这就是个橄榄球 This is just football...
- 这不只是橄榄球 不只是橄榄球！ - 嘿 嘿 嘿 - It's not just football! It's not just football. - Hey, hey, hey.
你咋回事？ What is wrong with you?
爱国者队这下要耀武扬威了 彻底完了 Patriots walk all over everybody. It's over.
卡尔 好了 你冷静点 说真的 Carl, come on. Settle down, man. Honestly.
- 你太过了 - 生活不只有橄榄球 - It's too much. - There's more to life.
你们三个 吃你们自己的 给我闭嘴 让我静静 The three of you, just eat your food and shut up. Leave me alone.
你总是念啊念 You say this over and over.
你本来指望的啥呢？ What are your expectations?
你说得他们像爱国者队那样强 You're talking about them like they're the Patriots,
现在突然被诅咒了一样 and then they're suddenly cursed.
实际上他们一直都这么烂 年复一年 They're terrible, year in and year out.
你拿这事儿跟自己过不去 我看着都伤心 And you beat yourself up, and it makes me sad.
真的 你干嘛这么折磨自己？ Well, why do you take it on personally?
你又不是球队经理 You're not the general manager.
- 真是没个头了 - 跟演黑帮电影似的 - Just doesn't stop. - Like a mob movie.
- 你什么情况？ - 哈 - What's going on? - Huh.
- 咋了 你... - 我也不知道 这个饭馆感觉怪怪的 - What, you... - I don't know. Something strange going on in this restaurant.
- 你说说 - 只有我这么觉得吗... - Tell me. - Am I crazy...
那个区域的人个个都要比... or is everyone in that section way better looking
这个区域的人好看 你瞧那边 你自己瞧瞧 than the people in this section. Look. Look around.
你这么一说 还真是诶 You are not imagining things.
再看看这边 就像是... And now look here. It's like there's
有一个美貌区和一个丑鬼区 a good-looking section and an ugly section.
你觉得这是巧合吗？他们为啥这么安排座位啊？ You think it's random? Why would they do something like that?
这看着...这不可能是巧合 It just seems, it's, it can't be a coincidence.
我打算下次再来 不和你们一起 I'd like to come here again without you guys.
是吧 谁知道呢？也许... You know, who knows? Maybe if I
如果我是自己来 我就不会坐在这边了 came here by myself, I wouldn't be sitting here.
你怎么就觉得你不该在这边了？ Why do you think you shouldn't be here?
因为我清楚我属于那个区域 'Cause I know I should be in that section.
天哦 你这样子就像爱因斯坦的园丁 You look like Einstein's gardener, for Christ's sake.
你别想坐在那个区域了 You're never gonna get in there.
那谁愿意来打个赌？你愿意打赌吗？ So who wants to bet? You wanna bet?
如果我和你一起来 我打赌他们会让你坐这儿 If I come with you, I bet they keep you here,
- 然后把我安排到那边坐 - 嗯嗯 肯定呢 - and they move me over there. - Oh, yeah. Right.
- 你这又说的啥屁话？ - 是不是因为你 我们才坐到这儿的？ - What are you talking about? - Are you the reason we're over here?
是呢 我是这里最丑的 Yeah, I'm the dog in the group.
反正我只知道 这张桌子坐的某个人 All I know is, somebody at this table
使我们没法坐那个区 prevented us from sitting over there
我想你们都知道是谁 and I think you know who it is.
噢 我当然知道是谁了 Oh, I do know who that is.
嗯 我反正知道是谁 Oh, I know who it is.
- 噢 你好 - 是 - Oh. Excuse me. - Yes.
你们在提雅托吃得怎么样？ How are you enjoying everything at Tiato?
- 美味 非常美味 - 那就好 - Delicious. It was delicious. - Wonderful.
噢 我听着心里真开心 Oh, I'm so happy to hear.
我没法不注意到 I couldn't help but notice
坐那一侧的顾客 that the people sitting on that side
看起来要比 seem to be way better looking
坐在这边的人好看太多 than the people sitting on this side.
- 我完全不知道您在说什么 - 你猜我怎么想的？ - I have no idea what you're talking about. - You know what I think?
- 你们有一个美貌区 - 啊哈 - You have a good-looking section. - Uh-huh.
然后还有一个丑鬼区 And you have an ugly section.
我们为啥那么做？ Why would be we do that?
我不知道 为啥呢？该你告诉我呀 I don't know. Why would you? You tell me.
我没法告诉你 因为那不是真的 I can't tell you, because there's no truth to it.
是呢 嗯嗯 Yeah. Mm-hmm.
日安 先生 你好呀 Good day, sir. How are you?
老天爷哦 Oh, my God.
真见鬼了 Oh, geez.
我不想表现得粗鲁 但是 I don't mean to be rude, but...
你能不能出去一下 Would you mind just leaving for a...
- 就一会儿？ - 出去？ - a couple of minutes? - Leave?
- 你认真的吗？ - 是 我认真的 - Are you serious? - Yeah, I'm serious.
我有大事要办 而... I got a big job to do, and, and...
你在这儿办事 我就办不了我的事了 And I can't do my job, if you're doing your job.
没事 我不出声 没关系的 No, I'll be quiet. No problem.
不 不是那个的问题 你人在这儿 No, it's not a question of that. You're here.
我需要私人空间 我需要距离 I need privacy. I need distance.
我需要一个人独处 I need to be alone.
呃 我的上级 Eh, my boss.
我会惹上大麻烦的 你懂我意思吗？ I'll get in a lot of trouble. You know what I mean?
有啥问题嘛？你 你就... What's the trouble? You, you, you stepped
出去等一会儿 又咋了？ outside the room for a minute. So what?
人们需要我在这儿 你懂 提供服务 People need me here to, you know, take care of business.
不 不 他们不需要你在这儿 No, no, they don't need you here.
这不是人干的工作 This is not a job for human beings,
傻呆呆地站在这儿 to be here when other people
而别人在里面上厕所 没人想要你在这儿 are going to the bathroom. Nobody wants you here!
大家走进来都只觉得失望 Everybody's disappointed when they walk in here.
没人想看到你 我很抱歉我得说真话 They don't want to see you, I'm sorry to say.
不是我不尊敬你们啊 人们进来经常有口气 With all due respect, people come in here with bad breath.
我这儿有漱口水 有的人进来会想 I got, I got mouthwash. People come in here,
想着 哎呀 我需要打扮一下 我这儿有古龙香水 you know, look, I need a little spruce-up. I got cologne here.
他们会很乐意放弃口香糖 They would gladly sacrifice the gum,
古龙水和薄荷糖... the cologne, the mints,
任何你这儿有的东西 以换来私人空间 anything you have here, for some privacy.
他们会的 他们会不假思索地放弃那些东西 They would. They'd sacrifice it in a second.
- 他们...我在这儿是有意义的 - 动物临死的时候 - People, I have a purpose here. - When an animal goes to die,
会离开自己的族群 这里是一个道理 it leaves the pack. That's what needs to happen here.
我需要一个人独处 I need to be alone.
我现在就像只濒死的动物 I'm a dying animal.
- 我不知道该咋说了 - 行吧 这样 这样 - I don't know what to tell you. - Okay, look. Look.
你现在出去 我给你二十美元 I'll give you 20 bucks for you to leave this room right now.
另外 我给你说 And I'll tell you what,
我要开一家咖啡馆了 拉家拿铁 I'm opening up a coffee shop, okay? Latte Larry's.
给你免单一个礼拜的一杯咖啡配司康饼 I'll give you a free cup of coffee and a scone for a week.
- 行吗？- 我在广告板上看到过你家 - Okay? - I've seen the signs for that.
- 对 行吧 这就是我要给你的 - 好的 - Yeah, all right. Well, that's what I'm prepared to offer you. - All right.
- 好 那请您赶紧完事儿 - 好 赶紧 - Yeah, well, make it quick, please. - Yeah. Make it quick.
我 我 我 尽量 Yeah. I'll, I'll, I'll do what I can.
山姆温诺克 你知道我在哪儿认识的你爸吧？ Sam Winokur. You know I know your dad, right?
- 是的 - 从高尔夫俱乐部 - Yeah. - From, from the golf club.
- 他跟我说您是他最喜欢的病人 - 喔 是的 - He told me you're his favorite patient. - Oh, well. Yeah.
呃…那么 Um... so.
- 你想在这儿做兼职？ - 是的 - You wanna work here part time? - I do.
- 你喝咖啡吗？- 当然 - You drink coffee? - Yeah.
- 你自己做吗？ - 是的 - You make it yourself? - Yeah.
我们家里有咖啡机 还磨豆子 We have a coffee maker at the house. Grind up the beans.
你知道拿铁怎么配吧？ Do you know what a latte is?
拿铁就是意式浓缩加热牛奶 The latte is just espresso and steamed milk.
这小孩儿挺懂 Kid know his shit.
好 那你知道牛奶空间是什么吗？ Okay. Do you know what milk consideration is?
那恐怕我不懂 不知道 I'm afraid I don't. No.
你往杯子里倒了太多的咖啡 You pour too much coffee in a cup,
就没有加奶的地方了 you're not leaving room for the milk.
不然的话 就溢出来了 'Cause then it's, you have it spilling over the top.
- 对 没错 - 是的 - Yeah. Exactly. - Right.
你之前有和大众打过交道吗 Have you ever dealt with the public before,
- 什么形式都算 - 嗯 在我爸的办公室 - in any way? - Well, at my dad's office,
我是说 每天都有成堆的新病人 I mean, you have dozens of new patients a day.
- 就 都不一样… - 喔不是 这不是我说的那个意思 - You know, all different... - Yeah, no. That's not what I'm talking about.
- 不是吗？- 去你爸办公室的人 - No? - The people who go to your dad's office,
和你要在这儿每天打交道的人完全不一样 nothing near what you would be seeing here on a daily basis.
- 哦是吗？- 来这儿的人都是 - Oh, really? - Most of the people who come in here are gonna be,
就那种让人恶心的人 you know, just disgusting human beings.
- 您指的是？- 卑鄙又粗鄙 - How do you mean? - Vile. Vulgar.
社会的败类 The dregs of society.
- 我觉得我能胜任 - 是吗？ - I think I'm up to the task. - You do?
- 是的 - 那得了 - Yeah. - You know what?
你被录用了 You're hired.
- 非常感谢 拉里 我不会让你失望的 - 好的 - Thanks so much, Larry. I won't let you down. - Okay.
- 我也觉得你不会 - 抱歉 我们俩聊的时候 - I don't think you will. - I'm sorry. While I have you here,
我忍不住注意到 在面试时你一直在挠… I couldn't help but notice you scratching at that rash...
- 哦 是的 - 脖子一边的疹子 - Oh, yeah. - On the side of your neck during the interview.
你没去看看嘛？ Have you had a chance to have that looked at?
我没去 You know, I haven't.
噢 那我说 该去看看 Well, I mean, just looking at it,
我跟你讲 我不是很担心 I can tell you I'm not very concerned.
- 嗯 - 我真心觉得这不过是 - Mm. - And I really think it's no more than
中度的过敏性皮炎爆发了 just a moderate outbreak of atopic dermatitis.
有很多的非处方药 So there's a number of over-the-counter
你可以用外用药膏 topical ointments you could use,
我推荐类固醇药膏 可的松 steroidal creams, cortisone, I could recommend.
- 嗯嗯 - 这样的话 几天后症状就消失了 - Mm-hmm. - Something like that should clear up in a few days' time.
好的 你猜啥？你这真不错 Okay, well, you know what? That was very impressive.
- 噢 谢谢 - 但恕我直言 - Oh, sure. Thanks. - With all due respect,
我觉得我会去找你爸看看 I think I'll go see your dad.
- 谢谢你 - 好的 我能问问为什么吗？ - Thank you. - Okay. Can I ask, uh, why?
因为他是个医生 Yeah. 'Cause he's a doctor.
- 非常高兴见到你 - 再次感谢 拉里 感激不尽 - Great to meet ya. - Thanks again, Larry. I appreciate it.
- 好嘛 客气了 - 我不会让你失望的 - Okay. You're welcome. - I won't let you down.
- 我也觉得你不会哦 - 一切顺利 - I don't think you will. - Have a good day.
好嘞 你也是 All right. You, too.
- 那小孩儿真他妈不错哈 - 他能做来的 - That's a good fuckin' kid, right there. - He's gonna work out.
- 是啊 - 嘿 哦！我夹克 - Yeah. - Yeah. Oh! My jacket.
- 哦操 - 哥们 我又被这玩意儿钩住了 - Oh, fuck. - Man, I got snagged again on this thing.
- 我就知道 - 这堆破玩意儿 这堆使绊的 - I know. - All this shit. All this is snagging hazards.
- 这儿 这儿 这些破玩意儿 - 一点儿没错 - These. These. All that shit. - Yep. Absolutely.
端着杯热咖啡然后这货就把你裤子给挂了 Walking with a hot coffee and shit, shit grab your pants.
得洒他妈你一身 The shit pour on your fuckin' chest.
- 我们得换上新把手 - 是啊 - We gotta get some new handles. - Yeah.
- 嘿 - 让他妈再使绊子 - Hey. - Fuckin' snagging hazard.
呃… Um...
我是哈诺德 那天卫生间的侍者 I'm Harold. The, the bathroom attendant from the other day.
我因为离岗被开除了 I got fired for leaving my post.
- 哦我的老天爷 真的吗？- 是 - Oh, my God. Really? - Yeah.
- 把你开了？- 是的 - He fired you? - Yes.
- 可真混蛋 - 所以看你能不能 - What an asshole. - So whatever you can do
让我复职 我会非常感激的 to get my job back, I would appreciate it.
- 嗯哼 - 因为你就是那个 你懂 - Mm. - 'Cause you were the one that, you know,
让我离岗的人 invited me to leave the room.
但是你知道吗 我想说的是？ But you know what, if I may say?
没准是因祸得福呢 Maybe a blessing in disguise.
厕所就是蒙羞的场所 The bathroom is a palace of shame.
还让别人看见你在那儿 就更 And having someone watch you in there, it just,
双倍蒙羞 it doubles down on the shame.
就去跟餐厅经理聊聊了吧 行吗？ Just talk to the restaurant manager, please. Okay?
好的 我会去的 Okay, I'll talk to him.
嘿 哥们 Hey. My man.
你有薄荷糖什么的 You got those little mints and shit
就你们摆在那个操蛋柜台上的东西吗？ you guys have on the fuckin' counter?
有的有的 当然有 Yeah, yeah. Sure.
好 Yeah.
这不还他妈在工作呢嘛 瞧瞧 Still fuckin' working. Look at you.
- 哼 - 我的呢？ - Huh. - For me?
- 谢谢 - 哥们 - Thanks. - My man.
- 这给你的 哥们 - 谢谢你 哥们 - That's for you. My man. - Thank you, brother.
那是我俩一起的 That's from both of us.
我真的忍不住想那个有魔力的阴道 I can't stop thinking about that magical vagina.
当你用上了"魔力"这个词儿 When you use the word "magical,"
这聊的可就是另一个境界了 that's takin' that shit to another level.
我好想看看那是个什么逼啊 I wanna see what the fuck that is.
- 是啊 我也是 - 那个阴道 - Yeah, me, too. - That fuckin' vagina
是能他妈从逼里扯个兔子出来 could pull a rabbit out of that motherfucker.
- 是啊 - 还是能把这块夹心饼 - Yeah. - Or, like, put this fuckin' Pop-Tart
放那逼里然后能给烤了 in that fuckin' vagina and toast that shit.
- 啊哈 - 你说的对 - Aah. - There you go.
- 这才他妈的称得上有用且有魔力… - 那 那才是魔力阴道 - Now that is fuckin' useful, magical... - That's, that's magical vagina.
- 那他妈才叫有魔力 哈？- 一点没错 - That's fuckin' magical. Huh? - That's exactly right.
哈喽？ Hello?
嘿 你听说卡尔的事儿了吗？ Hey. Did you hear about Carl?
卡尔？咋了？ Carl? What?
他 呃 他自杀了 He, uh, he killed himself.
噢 我的天呐 Oh, my God.
噢 我的天 Oh, my God.
啥？ What?
是的 是的 Yeah. Yeah.
- 这他妈？ - 我知道 难以置信 - What the fuck? - I know. It's unbelievable.
我说 他 他打得那么好 I mean, he was, he was playing great.
他打了几杆？好像是82杆还是多少 What did he shoot? He shot, like, 82 or something.
- 你打那么好怎么能自杀呢？- 我知道 - How do you kill yourself when you're playing so well? - I know.
- 他留下遗言了吗？- 留了 - Did he leave a note? - Yeah.
他说"我不能再承受失望了" He said, "I can't take any more disappointment."
我靠 Holy shit.
- 他到底说啥玩意儿呢？- 我靠 - What the hell's he talking about? - Holy shit.
"我不能再承受失望了" "I can't take any more disappointment."
他曾经在我们一起看喷气机队比赛时说过这句 That's what he used to say when we would watch the Jet games together.
"我不能再承受失望了" "I can't take any more disappointment."
一字不差的原话 That's an exact quote.
- 真的吗？- 杰夫 我看到过他抹泪 - Really? - Jeff, I've seen that guy sob
在输了以后 我看见他抽泣了 after losses. During games, I've seen him sob.
谁知道他这么饱受煎熬啊？ Who knew he was so tortured?
然后他们还一直输 And they just kept losing,
就这么一直吞噬着他 吞噬着他 and it kept eating at him, and eating at him.
然后他就…他不能再承受失望了 And he just... he couldn't take any more disappointment.
噢我的天 Oh, my God.
是喷气机队杀了卡尔 The Jets killed Carl.
- 尼克斯队也算连带着点儿 - 真是疯了 - And a little bit of the Knicks. - That's nuts.
- 喷气机队杀了他 - 我要给维罗妮卡发条慰唁短信 - The Jets killed him. - I want to send Veronica a condolence text.
- … 你有手机号吗？- 有 我要 我也要给她发一条 - G... You have her number? - Yeah, I'm gonna, I'm gonna text her one, too.
好的 Okay.
出他妈啥事儿了？ Fuck happened?
卡尔 那个老婆有魔力阴道的 Carl. The guy whose wife has the magical vagina.
他自杀了 因为他妈的喷气机队 He killed himself. 'Cause of the fucking Jets.
- 呃嗯 - 我要写一条… - Hmm. - I gotta write a...
慰唁短信给他遗孀 condolence text to the widow.
- 噢 哥们 - "亲爱的维罗妮卡 - Oh, man. - "Dear Veronica,".
"刚听说了卡尔的事 "Just heard about Carl.
"倍感遗憾" So sorry."
还有吗 我还得写点儿 What else? I need something else.
"祝你 呃 "Try and make the, uh,
- "能给自己捞点儿好处" - 喔 - "the best of it." - Ooh.
我不知道 我想不出来第三句 I don't know. I can't come up with a third line.
要么你就写"愿… Maybe you can write, "I wish..."
"你的魔力阴道本可以挽救他" your magical vagina could have saved him."
- 行啊 类似的 - 类似的话 - Yeah. Somethin' like that. - Somethin' like that.
- "愿能一窥那有魔力的阴道" - 嗯 - "Would love to get a glimpse of that magical vagina." - Mm.
"有无可能令我试驾一下？" "Is it possible I can test drive that motherfucker?"
- "我们心里有许多疑问" - 很多问题 - "We have many questions." - Many questions.
"我的朋友和我对你的魔力阴道存有许多疑惑" "My friend and I have many questions about your magical vagina."
- 是的 - "或许某天 你可以来答疑解惑" - Yes. - "One day, perhaps you'll get around to answering them."
- "当时机成熟时" - 太他妈妙了 - "When it's appropriate." - I fuckin' love that.
- 不错 - 直点主题 简明扼要 - Great. - It's to the point. And it's short.
- 拉里 很高兴见到你 - 噢 嘿 医生 - Larry. Good to see you. - Oh. Hey, Doc.
你听说卡尔的事了吗？ You hear about Carl?
听说了 太可怕了 Yeah. Terrible.
怎么会有人做出这种事呢？ Why would somebody do something like that?
呃... Well...
是喷气机队做的孽 It was the Jets.
我的天啊 My God.
他实在承受不住了 He just couldn't take it.
从里面吞噬了他 It ate him up inside.
- 真是场灾难 - 可不是 - What a catastrophe. - I know.
去年一开始大家充满期待 Last year started with such promise,
接着达诺德得了白血球增多症...一季比赛才第三场就差不多完蛋了 then Darnold gets mono... Season's over by game three.
我是说他的遗孀 维罗妮卡 他的家人 I'm talking about his widow, Veronica. His family.
对他们来说是场灾难 That's the catastrophe.
噢 当然了 是啊 Oh, of course, yeah.
你这儿还是有疹子 拉里 You've still got a rash there, Larry.
- 是啊 - 你知道吗 我有点被冒犯了 - Yeah. - You know, I'm a little offended.
我儿子免费给你诊疗 My son gave you a free consult,
而且告诉你是什么问题 and he told you what was wrong.
你却随便打发了他？ And you kind of poo-pooed it?
对啊 我当然打发了他 Yeah. Of course I poo-pooed it.
他又不是医生 What, he's not a doctor.
他是医生的儿子 这就够了 He's the son of a doctor. That should be good enough.
啊 这可不一定 我是说 我可不想听 Ah, not really. I mean, I don't want to listen to
路易斯阿姆斯特朗(Louis Armstrong)：美国爵士乐音乐家
路易斯阿姆斯特朗的儿子吹小号啊 Louis Armstrong's son play the trumpet.
- 要我帮你看看你的疹子吗？- 可以吗？ - Want me to check out your rash? - Would you?
- 当然 - 谢谢你 - Absolutely. - Thank you.
这是过敏性皮炎 又叫湿疹 That's atopic dermatitis. Otherwise known as eczema.
你可以在药店买点可的松 Over the counter, you can get some cortisone.
这就没事了 我儿子是怎么说的？ It should go away. What did my son say?
- 他和你说的一模一样 - 一模一样 你明白了吗？ - He said exactly the same thing as you. - The same thing. You see?
- 他知道自己在做什么 他有...血液里的本能 - 是啊 - He knows what he's doing. He's got... It's in the blood. - Yeah.
- 希望你早日康复 记得可的松 - 好的 - Hope you get better. Cortisone. - Yeah.
吉米 规则是什么？ Jimmy, what's the rule on this?
他挥杆了 球杆头掉了 He swung, the club head fell off.
但是他完成了击球动作 这算是一击 对吧 But he followed through. That's a stroke, right?
根据14-2规定 Decision 14-2.
一次击球是由球杆到球的向前运动 A stroke is defined by forward movement
来定义的 of the club to the ball.
单是杆身可不是完整的球杆 A shaft in itself is not a club.
- 没有惩罚 - 啊 好极了！ - No penalty. - Ah, yes!
- 去你的 吉米 - 读一读规则吧 - Aw, fuck you, Jimmy. - Read the rule book.
哇 吉米 Wow. Jimmy.
- 你懂行 我想问你件事 - 你尽管问 - You know your stuff. Let me ask you something. - You better believe it.
有没有推杆过直这种说法？ Is there such a thing as a putter being too straight?
当然 看这个推杆 这里 Definitely. Look at this putter, here.
- 有个倾斜 对吗 - 是的 - Has a tilt, right? - Yeah.
绝对不会是九十度的 Definitely not 90 degrees.
- 必须至少有10度的倾斜 - 是的 - Has to have at least 10 degrees of tilt. - Yeah.
- 所以它不能有超过80度的角？ - 没错 - So it can't have it more than an 80-degree angle? - Correct.
不能这样 只能这样 Can't be like this. Has to be like this.
只能这样 倾斜 就像这样 Has to be like this. Tilt. Just like this.
好吧 你不说我还真不知道 Well, what do you know?
你知道对于不符合规定的球棒有什么惩罚吗？ You know the penalty for a non-conforming club?
- 不 - 取消比赛资格 - No. - Disqualification.
- 取消比赛资格 - 取消比赛资格 - Disqualification. - Disqualification.
- 谢谢 吉米 - 不客气 - Thanks, Jimmy. - You're welcome.
不好意思 我能帮到你什么吗？ Excuse me. Can I help you?
哦 我在找理查德路易斯的球包 Oh. Looking for Richard Lewis' bag.
哦 他从不把球包留在这儿 Oh. He never leaves his bag here.
- 他总是带回家 - 真的吗？ - He always takes it home. - Really?
- 这不奇怪吗？ - 非常奇怪 - Is that unusual? - Very.
他大概是俱乐部里唯一这么做的人 He's probably the only one in the club who does that.
可不是吗 You don't say.
哈 Huh.
呵呵 Well.
有意思 Isn't that interesting?
太有意思了 Isn't that interesting?
玛丽莲 请带他们入座 Marilyn, if you could show them to their table.
- 这边请 - 非常感谢 欢迎光临提雅托 - Right this way. - Thank you so much. Benvenuto a Tiato.
- 你好 - 你好 - Hi. - Hello.
- 欢迎光临提雅托 - 哦 谢谢 - Benvenuto a Tiato. - Oh, grazie.
- 我早些时候打过电话 - 是的 - I called earlier. - Yes.
我定了位 拉里大卫 I have a reservation. Uh, Larry David.
我想要一张靠窗的桌子 And I requested a table by the window.
很抱歉 但我们不能满足您的要求 I'm sorry, but we cannot honor that request.
- 我能问问为什么吗 - 啊 因为靠窗的位子已经满了 - And why is that, may I ask? - Uh, because we're all filled up over here.
- 我看见还有空桌子 -是的 他们已经订给别人了 - I see tables. - Yes, those are reserved for a few people.
但我为您准备了很好的位子 But I do have a lovely table for you.
让我猜猜 是在这边吗？ Let me take a guess. Somewhere over there?
- 啊 是的 我有个绝佳的位子 - 啊 - Uh, yes. I have a wonderful table. - Ah.
- 我猜的真准 - 是的 - What a wild guess. Yeah. - Yes.
好极了 Great.
请吧？ Shall we?
大卫先生 您的桌子在这边 Mr. David. Please. Your table here.
来吧 Come along.
看看这个 Look at this one.
这都啥人啊？ What happened here?
哦 不忍睹视 Oh. Will you look at this?
哦 我的天啊 Oh, my God.
大卫先生 请入座 Mr. David. Here we are.
好的 行 行 好的 Okay. Yeah. Yeah. Okay.
- 好的 - 好的 谢谢 - Okay. - All right. Thanks.
- 我懂了 我懂了 - 谢谢 谢谢 - I get it. I get it. - Thank you. Thank you.
还有什么我可以帮到您？ Anything else I can get for you?
- 嘿 我问你一个问题 - 请说 - Hey, let me ask you a question. - Yeah.
为什么 为什么你把那个洗手间侍者解雇了？ Why, why did you fire that bathroom attendant?
- 因为他擅离职守 - 好吧 你知道吗？ - Because he left his post. - Okay, you know what?
是我让他离开的 我要求的 I asked him to leave. I requested it.
恕我直言 大卫先生 我不能解雇你 With all due respect, Mr. David, I can't fire you.
但是我可以解雇哈诺德 因为他没做好自己的工作 But I can fire Harold for not doing his job.
哦 是吧 你可真行 Oh, yeah. Bravo. Good going.
好吧 欢迎光临提雅托 Well, benvenuto a Tiato.
嗯嗯不用欢迎 Benvenuto.
- 谢谢你 - 谢谢你 - Thank you. - Thank you.
瞧瞧这 Look at this.
我怎么会沦落到这种境地 Look where I wound up in my life.
在丑鬼区 In the ugly section.
我在丑鬼区 I'm in the ugly section.
你知道 我一辈子都怀疑自己很丑 You know, my whole life I suspected I was ugly.
但我没有确定 我没有证据 But I never really knew. I never had proof.
现在我有了证据 我有证据了 And now I have proof. I have proof.
这就是 这就是证据 This is it. This is the proof.
你在说什么呢？ What are you talking about?
我怎会沦落至此？ How did I wind up here?
我怎会沦落至此！ How did I wind up here!
哦 我的天啊！ Oh, my God!
你为什么不把球杆放在存包处？ How come you don't leave your clubs in the bag room?
- 我的 我的球杆？- 是啊 - My, my clubs? - Yeah.
- 我带回家了 - 为什么？ - I take 'em home. - Why?
- 因为它们曾经被...被偷过 - 被偷？ - Because things have been stolen from the, the, the... - Stolen?
怎么...怎么会被偷呢？ 太疯狂了 Wh-wh-what's stolen? That's crazy.
- 你听说过什么被偷... - 是的 我有... - Have you ever heard of one thing being stolen... - Yeah, I had a...
- 不可能 这是私人俱乐部 - 我问你个问题 - Never. It's a private club. - Let me ask you something.
你的推杆符合规格吗？ Is your putter to specifications?
你疯了吗？ Are you out of your mind?
我在问你问题 I'm asking a question.
- 原来是这个原因... - 你知道 你知道 - That's the reason why. - You know, you know,
它不能超过80度 你知道的 it can't be over 80 degrees. You know that.
- 我不知道... - 角度不能超过80度 - I don't know... - The angle can't be over 80 degrees.
听着 你是个高尔夫白痴 Look, you're a golf nut.
我最近手气比较顺 我... I've just been playing on a roll lately, and I...
手气顺？我输给你500刀 我们得把话说清楚 A roll? I paid you $500. Let's be clear about that.
- 听着 我不想任何人偷走我的幸运球杆 - 我们把话说清楚 - Look, I don't want anyone to steal my lucky clubs. - Let's be clear.
- 所以我带回家了 - 好啊 那让我们量一量 - So I take it home. - Well, then let us measure it.
你不能量我的推杆 You're not measuring my putter.
你只是 你只是输不起 You're just, you're just a b... A sore loser.
你俩都是 输不起 Both of you. Sore losers.
什么？ What?
- 她来了 - 可怜的女人 - There she is. - Poor woman.
你懂的 呃 You know, with, uh,
现在卡尔去世了... Carl's passing, the...
拥有魔力阴道的女人 现在是单身的了 magical vagina is, is now available.
一般的女性 我可以等一年后上手 Normal vagina, I'd wait a year.
但是 有魔力阴道的女性 最多六个月 But magical vagina, six months.
我相信这位死去的丈夫 会支持 I think the dead husband would, would approve
- 我们中的任何一个的 他喜欢我们 - 毋庸置疑 - any of us because he, he liked us. - Without a doubt.
我们曾是朋友啊 说真的 你一定很好奇 不是么 We were friends. You gotta be pretty curious, though, don't you.
好吧 我有一丢丢好奇 All right, I'm slightly curious.
我被勾起了兴趣 My interest is piqued.
- 也许 我应该去表达我的敬意 - 你是个什么？疯子？ - Maybe I'll go pay my respects. - What are you, nuts?
- 哦 拜托 你别这么干 - 现在？ - Oh, come on. You can't do that. - Now?
- 你在说什么？ - 你要去哪里？ - What are you talking about? - Where are you going?
不 不 不是 我说的是六个月到一年 Not, not, not... I said six months to a year.
- 他到底... - 他疯了么？ - What the hell is he... - Is he crazy?
- 看看他 哦 我的天 - 嗨 - Look at him. Oh, my God. - Hi.
- 嗨 拉里 - 嗨 - Hi, Larry. - Hi.
- 十分感谢你的出席 - 当然 当然 我很抱歉 - Thank you so much for coming. - Of course. Of course. I'm so sorry.
- 卡尔见到这么多他的朋友会很欣慰的 - 是啊 - Carl would be so happy to see so many of his friends. - Yeah.
- 尤其是他的高尔夫球友 - 是啊 是啊 - Especially his golf friends here. - Yeah. Yeah.
我真是受到刺激很大 I'm so thrown by this.
我真的是 我只是... I really am. I just...
你们曾一起打过高尔夫球 对吧？ You were all playing golf together, right?
- 是啊 - 你觉得他最近有不一样吗 或者...？ - Yeah. - Did he seem different to you, or...?
是啊 Yeah.
- 他有没有对什么仓皇不安？ - 是啊 他... - Was he agitated about anything? - Yeah, he was...
对喷气机队非常生气 very upset about the Jets.
- 该死的喷气机队 - 是啊 我知道 - The fucking Jets. - Yeah. I know.
- 他非常爱这个队 但他们所做的一切都令人失望 - 是的 我知道 我懂 - He loved them so much, and all they did was disappoint. - Yes, I know. I know.
我们都一样 都生气 但情况就那么个情况 可是... We all do. We all do, and that's, that's what happens, but...
上升到自杀这样的层次 我觉得 真的有点... to take it to this level, I mean, it's just...
这喷气机队毁了我们的婚姻 The Jets ruined our marriage.
我变得无法忍受他在我身边 I couldn't stand to be around him.
这一切都与喷气机队相关 Everything was about the Jets.
我们必须要把房间刷成绿色 We had to paint our room green.
一天晚上 他醒了然后大喊"沃森" One night, he just woke up and yelled, "Watson!"
那是什么？是福尔摩斯中的角色吗？ What is that? Is that a Sherlock Holmes reference or something?
不 我想那指的是德尚沃森 No, I think that's a reference to Deshaun Watson,
喷气机初选的时候拒绝了他 who the Jets passed on drafting
在2017年的时候 in 2017.
我是这么想的 That's what I think that is.
所以 卡尔... So Carl...
只是他们造成的又一个悲剧 is just another loss on their record.
- 我觉得还有很多卡尔这样的受害者 - 我也觉得 - I don't think it's the first person they've done that to. - No.
我真的很喜欢这个棺材上的把手 I really like the handles on the coffin.
也许 你知道在哪里能找到这种的？ Do you know where you got those, by any chance?
不 拉里 我不知道我在哪里找到的这种把手 No, Larry, I don't know where I got them.
- 它们是跟随棺材一体的 - 啊哈 - They came with, with the casket. - Uh-huh.
我给你说我为什么这么问 因为我要开一家咖啡店 I'll tell you why I'm asking. Because I'm opening up a coffee place.
- 哦 名字是？ - 嗯 拉家拿铁 - Oh, you are? - Yeah. Latte Larry's.
- 多么可爱的名字 - 哦 好的 你懂 - What a cute name. - Oh, well, you know.
- 拉里 这太可爱了 - 是啊 我想出来的 - Larry, that's cute. - Yeah, I picked it out. Yeah.
- 但是无论如何 呃 你知道对于橱柜... - 嗯 - But anyway, uh, you know, for the cabinets... - Mm.
我一直在配把手 I've been looking for handles.
我没有找到我喜欢的 Can't seem to find ones that I like,
但我真的很喜欢棺材上的那些把手 but I really like those on the coffin.
哦 好的 Oh. Okay.
所以如果你能... So if you can somehow...
找到卖棺材的人 call the person who sold you the coffin,
也许能有一些 呃 关于把手的信息 那就太棒了 maybe get some, uh, info on that, that would be great.
我是说 我不知道怎么样才能帮你找联系方式 但是 I mean, I don't know where I could find the contact for you, but...
- 这样 如果 呃... - 让我先埋了我丈夫 然后我会... - Well, if, uh... - Let me bury my husband first, and then I'll...
- 找到相关联系信息 - 不 当然了 你先埋葬 哀悼 然后... - find out the contact info. - No, of course. You bury, you mourn, and,
然后 呃 然后你再问问 and then, uh, uh, then you ask.
好的 Okay.
- 好的 - 现在该去背... - Okay. - It is now time to recite...
嗯 如果可以的话 我马上拍张照片 Um, I'm gonna take a quick pic, if that's okay.
- 别 拉里 拉里 我会把联系电话发短信给你的 可以么？ - "在我的房间" - No, Larry. Larry, I'll text it to you, okay? - In my room.
"我好像打断你说话了" It seems like I cut you off.
- 你的 Siri 开着 - "在我的房间" - Your Siri is on. - In my room.
"有人..." Anyone...
- 嘿 嘿 你猜怎么着？ - 怎么了？ - Hey. Hey, guess what? - What?
我觉得我察觉到了 I think I detected
一丝兴趣 a flicker of interest
- 来自那个寡妇的 - 不可能 你才没有 - from the widow. - No, you didn't.
- 我想是真的 你知道 我并不... - 这甚至都不是... - I think I did. I'm not, you know... - That wasn't even a...
- 你疯了 - 你白日做梦 - You're crazy. - You're dreaming.
我接收到了一些信号 There were signs that I picked up on.
她摸了我的胳膊 她看上去很深情 She touched my arm, she was very affectionate.
- 她当时在笑 - 嗯嗯 她悲极生乐了 - She was laughing. - Yeah, it was the time of her life.
这就是你所形容的 That's what you're describing.
哦 我的天哪 Oh, my God.
- 怎么？ - 发生了什么？ - What? - What happened?
哦 我的天 Oh, my God.
- 短信 - 才不会呢 骗人 - Text. - Get out. No.
我收到了一条短信！ I got a text!
- 那个寡妇发的？ - 是啊 - From the widow? - Yeah.
- 你在撒谎 - "十分感谢你出席 - You're a liar. - "Thanks so much for coming
"也感谢你的关心 "and for the kind words.
"迫不及待的想去看看你开的咖啡店" Can't wait to check out your coffee shop."
- 你知道 我觉得她只是想表现得和善一些 - 是啊 我也觉得 - You know, I think she's just being nice. - Yeah. Me, too.
- 我得给她回信 - 不 不 不要 别啊 - I gotta text her back. - No, no, no, no, no.
你最少要一周之后回她 You'll text her back in at least a week.
- 来杯咖啡... - 你他妈的没在骗我？ - Have coffee... - Are you fucking kidding me?
你发出去了？你说了些什么？ You sent it? What'd you say?
"如果你需要倾诉 我很高兴一起喝杯咖啡 "If you need to talk, I'd be happy to get together for coffee,
- "或者吃顿便饭" - 哦！ - "or any meal of your choosing." - Oh!
你直接请她约会了！ Now you're asking her on a date!
- 不是 但是晚餐 她可能觉得晚餐是... - 你真恶心 - No, but lunch. She could mean lunch... - Oh, that is disgust...
你把喝咖啡升级成了一次约会 You upped it from coffee to a date.
- 怎么了？ - 怎么？ - What? - What?
"那我们就这么约定了" "It's a date."
- 啊哈 [意大利语]欢迎光临提雅托 - 你好 - Ah. Benvenuto a Tiato. - Hello.
我们有张非常不错的靠窗的桌子给您坐 We have a beautiful table for you right by the window.
好吧 呃...大卫先生 你好么？ Right, uh... Mr. David, how are you?
- 我 我很好 - 完美 - I'm, I'm swell. - Wonderful.
是啊 所以 呃 你刚在说？ Yeah. So, uh, you were about to say?
这边为你们准备了一张不错的桌子 We have a beautiful table for you,
呃 就在后面 uh, right back there.
- 你刚还打算让她坐在那边 - 嗯 是的 - You were about to seat her over there. - Uh, yes.
- 但是 那是个一人桌 - 一人桌？ - But that's a table for one. - Table for one?
我 我不明白 一人桌和两人桌 I, I don't get that. What's the difference between a table for one,
不就是一个东西吗？ and a table for two?
一人桌只能一个人就餐 One person.
- 这有点意思 是啊 - 确实有点 - That's so interesting. Yeah. - It is.
好的 我想我明白了 All right, so I think I get the way it works here.
- 如果是一半一半... - 嗯哼 - If it's fifty-fifty... - Uh-huh.
一个貌美一个颜丑 One good-looking and one ugly,
都分到丑的那边 是这个道理吗？ both go to the ugly. Is that how it works?
因为在棒球中 平局算跑垒员赢 'Cause in baseball, a tie goes to the runner.
这里平局算作丑的 Here, a tie goes to the ugly.
大卫先生 我真的不会去刻意区分... Mr. David, I really do not see a difference
什么是貌美的 between the good-looking...
- 什么是丑的 - 你是想告诉我 - and the ugly. - Are you saying to me that
你要把这位美女 you're gonna put this beautiful woman
归到那个区？这就是你要做的吗？ into that section? Is that what you're going to do?
她不属于那里 是的 可以 She doesn't belong there. Yeah, sure,
把我放过去 我懂的 好吧 但是 put me there. I get it, okay. But...
- 拜托 - 拉里 任何位置的桌子都可以的 - Come on. - Larry, a table anywhere is fine.
不 不行 这不行 不可以 No. No, it's not fine. It's not fine.
看看那边都是些什么人 你看看 Look what's going on over there. Take a look.
那边的桌子真的非常好 The table over here is really lovely.
我觉得你会喜欢那里的 跟我来 I think you'll enjoy it. Please. Follow me.
哦 我的天 Oh, my God.
如果你下次再来 If you ever do come back,
我们有一些很棒的桌子在那边 we have some beautiful tables over there.
哦 我的天 Oh, my God.
真是一场噩梦 What a horror show.
真他妈的恐怖 This is a fucking horror show.
你他妈怎么可以这么干？不公平 How the fuck can you do this? It's not fair.
这不公平 This is not fair.
世上的人对我要怎么哀悼 There's just so much expectation out in the world
- 抱有太多期望 - 是的 没错 - of how I'm supposed to grieve. - Yeah. Right.
- 当然 对 - 哀悼的过程 - Of course. Yeah. - The mourning process.
- 是啊 我懂 - 人们看我的眼神 - Right. I get it. - The way people look at me.
她会哀悼多久啊？ How long is she gonna be grieving for?
这根本不关他们的事 It's none of their business.
人们不知道的是 我俩的关系 What people didn't know is that our relationship
在他走之前已经很差劲了 was pretty frayed by that point.
- 嗯 真的吗？ - 是啊 我们各过各的 - Mm. Really? - Yeah, we were living separate lives.
- 还算友好 但是各过各的 - 嗯嗯 - Ami-amicable. But separate lives. - Mm-hmm.
但是我懂你的意思 你要知道 But I know what you mean about, you know.
- 关于寡妇该怎么表现有一套不成文的规矩 - 是啊 - There's unwritten rules about how a widow's supposed to act. - Right.
你知道吗 我小时候 我记得我的乌龟死了 You know, when I was a kid, I remember my turtle died.
我还记得 "哦 嘿" And I remember, "Oh, hey."
"太不幸了 那只乌龟 "That's too bad that, you know, the turtle,
"它死了" 然后... "turtle died." And...
是只小乌龟 我朋友给我打电话说 A little turtle. And my friends called me up and said,
"嘿 我们要出去玩 去打拳击球" "Hey, we're going out. We're gonna play punch ball."
我说 "哎 你猜啥？我可能不该去 我的乌龟死了" I said, "Eh, you know what? I probably shouldn't. My turtle died."
然后我坐在那想 哎呀 And then I'm sitting there thinking, geez,
我的朋友们在外面玩拳击球 my friends are out there playing punch ball.
我又在干什么呢？ What, you know, what am I doing?
所以 过了半小时 我就把小乌龟冲进马桶了 So, after half an hour, I just flushed it down the toilet,
然后出门去玩拳击球了 and went out and played punch ball.
所以我知道你的感受 So I know, I know how you feel.
嗯 呃 那向你的乌龟表示哀悼 Yeah. Well, my condolences to your turtle.
好 Yeah.
你的脖子怎么了？ So what's the matter with your neck?
为什么一直挠那个地方？ What do you keep scratching over there?
我出疹子了 I've got some kind of rash.
- 你去看医生了吗？ - 我想去的 - Have you seen a doctor? - I wanted to,
但是我的皮肤科医生是约书亚温诺克 but Joshua Winokur is my dermatologist,
他现在不在 and he's not here right now.
你应该去找他的儿子看看 You should go see his son.
他儿子也是医生吗？我都不知道 Is his son a doctor? I never knew that.
- 不是 - 他儿子不是在上高中吗？ - No. - Isn't his son in high school?
是的 不过是毕业班了 Yeah, but he's a senior.
- 如果你找他看过 那我也去 - 我去的 - I mean, if you go, then I'll go. - Yeah.
- 那我就找他看看 - 我帮你安排 - I'll have him check it out. - I'll set it up for you.
什么鬼？ What the fuck?
哦 老天 Oh, my God.
让苏西坐那边？ Seating Susie over there?
- 真的吗？ - 不 她才没有 她现在没约会任何人 - Really? - No, she's not. She's not seeing anybody right now.
- 你觉得她能接受吗？ - 嗯 我觉得她... - Do you think she'd be open? - Yeah. I think she...
哦 Oh.
- 你在这做什么？ - 事实上 - What are you doing here? - As a matter of fact,
- 我们正在讨论谢丽儿 - 是的 - we happen to be talking about Cheryl... - Yeah.
讨论我们两个复合的可能性 And the possibility of the two of us getting back together.
不 我是说 你坐在这个区域干什么？ No, I meant, what are you doing in this section?
- 你为什么坐这儿 你不属于这个区域 - 哦 得了吧 - Why are you in this, you don't belong in this section. - Oh, don't. Don't even...
- 闭上你的臭嘴吧 - 你应该坐在那边 开玩笑吗？ - Don't even start with that shit. - You should be over there. Are you kidding?
那天我之所以坐在那边 The only reason I was over there the other day
全都是拜你和那个肥仔所赐 was 'cause I was with you and fat boy.
- 哦 你觉得你是凭你自己坐到这里的？ - 没错 - Oh, you think you got seated here on your own? - Yes.
- 哈？跟他没关系 哈？ - 嘿 嘿 - Huh? It had nothing to do with him, huh? - Hey, hey.
- 他确实是个帅哥 拉里 - 是的 - Well, he's a handsome man, Larry. - Yeah.
你沾了他的光 所以你才能坐在这儿 You're on his coattails. That's why you're here.
- 你在这儿干什么？ - 我在跟 跟 跟维罗妮卡赛克斯吃午饭 - What are you doing here? - I'm having lunch with, with, with Veronica Sacks.
哦 天呐 拉里！ Oh, my God, Larry!
- 那是...卡尔 刚死的那个？ - 是的 - Is that... Carl, who just died? - Yes.
刚死的那个 自杀了 The one who just died, who killed himself
- 因为该死的喷气机队 - 哦 拉里 - over the fucking Jets. - Oh, Larry.
- 只是一顿午饭 得了吧 - 他什么时候死的？ - It's just a lunch. Come on. - He died, what?
- 大概不到一周吧 - 不到一周 - Like, less than a week ago. - Less than a week ago.
首先 她就不该他妈的出门 First of all, she shouldn't even be out of the fucking house.
- 哦 滚蛋吧 - 她应该待在家 穿一身黑 - Oh, get out of here. - She should be home, in black,
悲痛和哀悼 而你！ mourning and grieving. And you!
你竟然追求... That you would go after...
- 我没在追求 - 追求弱小又无助的她 - I'm not going after. - The weak and the, the vulnerable.
你凭什么觉得不是她在追我？ What makes you think she's not going after?
- 她才不会追你 - 我也没追她 - She's not going after you. - I'm not going after.
我打赌她在追求你 因为你很有钱 I bet you she is because you've got a lot of money, man.
她就是奔着钱来的 That's all she's doing it for.
好啊 谁在乎呢？我才不在乎 Good. Who cares? What do I care?
我都不能想象你堕落到什么程度了 I can't even fathom what depths of depravity
能去追求一个新寡妇 would lead you to go after a recent,
老公刚死 very recent, widow.
据我了解 I have been given to understand
她有一个魔力阴道 that she has a magical vagina.
- 一个啥？ - 魔力阴道 - A what? - A magical vagina.
这是我听过的最不像话的话了 That is the most inappropriate thing I have ever heard.
- 等等 等等 等等 喔 喔 - 我就说说 - H-h-hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Whoa, whoa. - I'm just, I'm just saying.
你说的魔力... When you say magical...
- 嗯 - 到底是什么意思？ - Yeah. - What, what do you mean?
瞧 这是个很... See, that's a very...
你能等一下吗？ Can you just give us a second?
我很希望我可以 不过 大卫先生 I really wish I could, but, Mr. David,
我认为您的餐伴正在等您 I believe your table is waiting.
但是她都能坐这里 But she gets to stay here.
你让她坐这儿？这个丑逼？ You're letting her stay here? This meeskite?
看看这张脸！你是认真的吗？ Look at that face! Are you serious?
我真不明白你们怎么搞的 I don't get what's going on here.
我和一个美女一起来的 I come in with a beautiful woman,
但我坐在那边 I'm sitting over there.
他跟她一起来 He comes in with her,
还能坐在这里 and they sit here.
这个政策完全没道理 This policy makes no sense.
根本没有政策的 大卫先生 There is no policy, Mr. David.
哦 是吗 行 Oh, yeah. Right.
我不是丑逼 你个秃逼！ And I'm not a meeskite, you bald fuck!
- 嗨 - 你好 - Hi. - Hello.
我...呃 I... huh.
有问题吗？ Is there a problem?
我只是要用下洗手间 呃... I just have to use the bathroom. Uh...
我想我是吃了个坏了的布拉塔芝士球 I think I had a bad ball of burrata.
如果我能有点私人空间就好了 I could just use a little privacy.
- 哦 你想要私人空间 - 是的 - Oh, you could use a little privacy. - Yeah.
是啊 私人空间 真有意思 Yeah, privacy. It's a funny thing.
- 我们都想有点私人空间 对吗？ - 哦 - We all could use a little privacy, right? - Ooh.
我理解 不幸的是 我有一些事要做 I know. Unfortunately, I've got a couple of things I need to do.
你知道的 梳洗一番啥的 You know, freshen up and all that.
大卫先生 求你了 Mr. David, please.
你在这儿我解不出来 I can't do my job if you're in here.
是啊 Yeah.
那我这么说吧 我们来个小交易怎么样？ I'll tell you what. Why don't we make a little deal?
- 好的 - 我要坐到美貌区 - Okay. - I get the good-looking section.
没有美貌区这一说 There is no good-looking section.
我要坐到美貌区 I get the good-looking section.
同意了？好 That's a yes? Okay.
好 然后让哈诺德回来上班 但不是做这个活儿 Okay. And Harold gets his job back. But not this job.
- 餐厅的其他岗位 - 成交 - Somewhere in the restaurant. - Deal.
- 成交 - 成交 - Deal. - Deal.
- 好 好 - 再见 - Okay. Okay. - Goodbye.
你做了笔愚蠢的交易 You made a really stupid deal,
因为你一进到隔间我自然会走 because as soon as you got in the stall, I would have left.
你难道觉得我会待在这儿吗？ You think I wanna hang around here?
这些把手真不赖 These handles are great.
- 是吧？ - 是啊 - Right? - Yeah.
嗯 这是棺材上的把手 Yeah, they're from a coffin.
- 什么？不是吧 - 正是 - What? No. - Yeah.
哦 好吧 我得走了 Oh. Okay. Gotta go.
- 好的 - 好好干 - Okay. - Keep working.
没问题 Sure.
当心 Be careful.
- 怎么了？ - 开门 - What's wrong? - Open the door.
- 我不知道怎么开 - 哦 老天 - I don't know how to open the door. - Oh, Jesus Christ.
- 那边那个按钮 - 这他妈有无数个按钮 - It's a button over there. - There's a million fuckin' buttons.
就在你左边那里 按那个 Right on your left there. Press that button.
- 你行啊 - 哈？ - Look at you. - Huh?
- 懂车帝 - 瞧瞧 - Mr. automotive man. - Look at that.
咱们去吃点什么吧？ L-let's get something to eat, or something, you know?
好 你鼻子上有个东西 Yeah, you got something on your nose.
- 嘿 搞毛啊 - 开窗 - Hey. What the fuck? - Open the window.
- 我日 - 好了 宾利佬 把钱拿来 - Fuck me. - Come on, Bentley. Give me your money.
- 我跟你说过不要买这辆车 - 哦闭嘴吧 - I told you not to get this car. - Oh, shut up.
- 妈的跟个傻屌似的 - 给 拿去吧 - Like a fucking idiot. - Here. Take it. Have...
- 你还有啥 - "我买了辆宾利 我买了辆宾利" - What else you got? - "I got a Bentley. I got a Bentley."
- 你后备箱里有啥 - 啥都没有 - What else you got in the trunk? - I got nothin' in there.
一些高尔夫球杆 没了 Some golf clubs, that's all.
- 你根本不需要这玩意 - 高尔夫球杆 好极了 开箱 - You don't need that shit. - Golf clubs. Perfect, pop it.
- 高尔夫球杆 - 真是好极了 开后备箱 - Golf clubs? - That's perfect. Pop it.
嗯 有多大差别呢 Yeah. What's the difference?
开后备箱 老东西 动起来 Pop the trunk, old timer. Let's go.
- 你不知道怎么开… - 就在那儿 在 在那个 - You don't know how to pop... - It's right over there, on, on that...
你跟谁一伙的啊 Who are you working with, here?
- 我去去就回 - 去去就回？你是啥啊 悟空？ - I'll be right back. - Be right back? What are you, a maverick?
哇哦 哇哦 这是什么 这是什么 不会吧 Whoa, whoa. What's this? What's this? No.
这是喷气机队的面具吗 Is that a Jets mask?
对 是喷气机队 我是他家的球迷 Yeah, it's a Jets... I'm a Jets fan.
- 你是喷气机的球迷 - 嗯 他们最垃圾了 - You're a Jets fan? - Yeah. They're the worst.
缘分啊 我也是 Unbelievable! Me, too!
他们年年都输 你还以为他们会… Every year they lose. You think they're gonna make...
- 太糟了 我的朋友自杀了 - 他走运了 - It's awful. My friend killed himself. - He's better off.
他们应该把这些人都关监狱 They're responsible for murder. They should put 'em all in prison.
呃 我觉得有人在打劫我的老板 Uh, I think my boss is being robbed.
这是啥 一个推杆 What is this, a putter?
让我看看这个推杆 Let me just take a look at this putter.
- 我会需要这个的 - 不 这有点意思… - I'm gonna need that. - No, it's an interesting...
听着 伙计我需要这个 Listen, man. I need the putter...
留着这推杆吧 你个狗娘养… Keep the putter, you son of a...
哦 谢天谢地 Oh, thank God.
怎么了 What happened?
我们得谈谈 We have to talk.
路易斯 Lewis.
你注意到我留的巨额小费了吗 Did you notice the tremendous tip I left?
- 我还能注意不到？ - 我 当着你的面写的数字 - Did I notice? - I, I filled it out right in front of you,
就想你看到呢 hoping you'd see it.
- 哈 你很享受 对吧 - 我是喜欢 对 - Huh? You liked it, right? - I liked it. Yeah.
- 有时候我就喜欢男人这样稍微显摆一下 - 嗯 - Sometimes I like a man to show off a little bit like that. - Yeah.
我那么做不是为了侍者 是为了你 I didn't do it for the waiter. I, I did it for you.
噢 谢谢你 拉里 Aw, thank you, Larry.
所以你哀悼得怎样 你有没有… So how's the whole grieving thing going? Are you...
- 哦 - 你有没有觉得…很寡妇 - Oh. - Are you feeling... widowy?
我今晚没有觉得特别寡妇 Well, I'm not feeling particularly widowy tonight.
- 哦 是这样吗 - 嗯 - Oh, is that so? - Hmm.
有趣 Interesting.
嗯 Mm.
- 啊 听到你这么说真好 - 嗯哼 - Aah. I like to hear that. That's very good. - Mm.
- 好 - 哦 哦天 - Yeah. - Oh. Oh, dear.
- 哦 真抱歉 拉里 - 啊 - Oh. I'm sorry, Larry. - Yeah.
嗯 Yeah.
- 唔 - 唔 - Mm. - Mm.
- 愿他安息 - 是啊 - May he rest in peace. - Yes.
你是不是有啥想说的 Is there anything else on your mind?
啊… Well...
既然你提到了 Now that your mention it,
有件小事 one small thing.
- 卡尔死的几天前 - 嗯哼 - A few days before Carl died... - Mm-hmm.
- 我们一起打过高尔夫 那时 呃 - 嗯 - We played golf. And, uh... - Yeah.
我和杰夫一组对卡尔和路易斯 It was me and Jeff against Carl and Lewis.
- 后来我发现… - 嗯 - And I have found out subsequently... - Mm.
路易斯用了违反规则的推杆 That Lewis was using an illegal putter.
所以 So...
你瞧 我感觉我输给卡尔的五百刀 you know, I feel like that $500 that I gave Carl
- 是 是被耍手段赢去的 - 是吗 - was, was taken under false pretenses. - Yeah?
好吧 你干嘛跟我说这个 Okay. Why are you telling me this?
我就是觉得那钱该还给我 I just feel I'm owed that money.
- 他死了 - 是 - The man is dead. - Yeah.
- 他不能还你钱 - 对 不过… - He can't pay you back. - Right. But...
- 你是想让我给你五百刀吗 - 不 不 - Are you asking me to pay you $500? - No. No.
不 从他的财产里 No. The, the estate.
- 他的财产就是我的 拉里 - 啊 - The estate is me, Larry. - Ah.
我不懂你为什么现在说这个 I don't know why you're asking this now.
你瞧 我就是感觉自己输给了作弊的 You know, I just feel like I was cheated out of a win.
就好像2017年 Like in 2017
那次 呃 奥斯汀塞菲里安詹金斯 when, uh, Austin Seferian-Jenkins
奥斯汀塞菲里安詹金斯(Austin Seferian-Jenkins)： 美国职业橄榄球员，打近端锋位，曾效力于纽约喷气机队
他接住了那球他们说不算 caught that ball and then they said it wasn't a catch.
太蠢了 害喷气机队输了 So stupid. Cost the Jets the win.
- 喷气机队 - 对 他们打不赢爱国者队 - The Jets? - Yeah, they, they couldn't beat the Patriots.
天杀的喷气机队 拉里 The fucking Jets, Larry?
你来这间房子里 给我谈喷气机队？ You come into this house, and bring up the Jets?
你知道喷气机队 Do you know how much disappointment
给我的生活里带来了多少遗憾吗？ I have had to live with from the Jets?
- 你生活有遗憾？ - 是啊 - You've lived with disappointment? - Yeah.
- 说真的 - 真的 拉里 - Are you serious? - Yeah, Larry.
你知道这支球队对我做了什么吗？ Do you know what this team has done to me?
从1969年起我就再也不能享受 I haven't enjoyed a football season
橄榄球赛季了 since 1969.
- 哦 - 也许除了98年帕赛尔斯当教练的那次 - Oh. - Maybe '98 when Parcells was the coach for a year.
- 滚出去 - 那年不错 不过就那一次 - Get out of here. - That was good, too. But that's it.
够了 拉里 从这里滚出去 No, please, Larry. Get out of here.
- 哦 认真的吗？ - 滚出去 拉里 - Oh, literally? - Get the fuck out, Larry.
认真的 Literally.
唔 行吧 Mm. Okay.
哦 顺便说一句 塞菲里安詹金斯 Oh, by the way, Seferian-Jenkins
他没有拿稳球 拉里 didn't survive the recovery, Larry.
- 哦 哦 是吗 - 他在救球的时候… - Oh. Oh, is that so? - He didn't survive the ground...
- 球还是触地了 - 是吗 - on the recovery! - Is that so?
- 是的 - 你根本不知道自己在说什么 - Yeah. - You don't know what you're talking about.
- 看看回放吧 拉里 - 我看了有一百遍了 - Watch the playback, Larry. - I've seen the playback 100 times.
- 我也看过回放了 - 他就是接到了 - I've seen it, too. - That was a catch.
- 哦 省省吧 - 裁判根本不公平 - Oh, come on! - That was a bullshit call.
- 我带你们去座位 - 请吧 - Let me show you to your table. - Please do.
- 左转 - 我知道 - Left turn. - I know.
- 啊 大家好啊 女士们 - 你好 - Well, hello, ladies. - Hello.
- 裙子真好看 - 哦 谢谢 - Lovely dress. - Why, thank you.
啊 多么赏心悦目的顾客们啊 Well, what a fine-looking group.
能坐在你们之间是我的荣幸 It is a great honor to be sitting amongst you.
你知道 在洛杉矶有成千上万的餐馆 You know, there are a ton of different restaurants
值得你去光顾 for you to patronize here in L.A.
帮我个忙 滚一边去 Do me a favor. Get lost.
好的 欢迎光临提雅陀 Very well. Benvenuto a Tiato.
谢谢 谢谢 Mille grazie. Mille grazie.
啊 Ah?
总算能放松了 A man can relax.
- 还能呼吸点新鲜空气 - 还有新鲜空气 - And breathe some fresh air. - And breathe this fresh air.
先生们 很高兴见到你们 Gentlemen, great to see you.
啊 看看谁在这儿呢 Well, look who's here.
这是哈诺德 洗手间侍者 This is Harold, the bathroom attendant
- 我跟你说过的 - 哈诺德 - I was telling you about. - Harold!
- 对 对 - 啊 要我说 我们握个手吧 - Yeah. Yeah. - Well, let me say, let's shake.
- 感激不尽呐 - 是我的荣幸 - I can't thank you enough. - Eh, my pleasure.
- 真的 这里顾客给的小费也多 - 哦 我真为你高兴 - Seriously. The tips are great. - Oh, I'm so happy for you.
更好的是 我不会再被人斜眼看了 你知道吗 Not only that, I'm not getting that look, you know?
- 哦 是啊 - 那种"哦 厕所里这人"的斜眼 - Oh, yeah. - Like, oh, this guy in the bathroom.
对"你在这儿做什么呢"那种 Yeah. What, what are you doing in here? Yeah.
这是给你们的 给你们 And these are for you. For you.
- 真好 太谢谢了 - 再多给几个慢慢吃 - Great. Thanks so much. - A couple for later.
- 实际上 我认识他们 - 嘿 嘿 - Actually, I know them. - Hey, hey.
- 他跟我一起的 - 那边是我的朋友 - He's with me. - Those are my friends over there.
- 他坐这边的 - 嘿 - He, he belongs over here. - Hey.
- 你们好吗 - 嘿 山姆 - How you guys doing? - Hey, Sam.
- 怎么样 - 嘿 山姆 - What's going on? - Hey, Sam.
呃 拉里 我再次感谢你推荐我 Uh, Larry, I want to thank you again for the referral.
我给赛克斯女士做了检查 I had the examination with Mrs. Sacks.
哦 不错 不错 怎么样啊 Oh, great, great. How did it go?
嗯 她就是脖子上有一些疹子 Yeah, she just had a small rash on her neck.
- 啊 - 可能是压力导致的 你知道 她现在在哀悼 - Yeah. - Probably the result of stress. You know, she's mourning
可能会伤害皮肤 right now and that can take a toll on the skin.
- 对 严重伤害 - 呃 除了那个 - Yeah, terrible toll. - Um, other than that,
健康得让人难以置信 可能是我这些年 incredibly healthy skin. Maybe the healthiest I've seen
见过的最健康的皮肤了 in all my years in the field.
唔 成纤维细胞健康状况喜人 Uh, wonderful fibroblastic health,
淋巴系统完美无缺 flawless lymphatic system.
真的从上皮层到成纤维细胞层都是 Really everything from epidermis to subcutaneous layer just...
- 啊 - 健康之神的化身 - Ah. - The image of health.
她的确存在一点问题 She did have a few questions
一些非常微小的异常 regarding some really minor irregularities,
所以我进一步做了全身检查 so I did go ahead and conduct a, uh, full body exam.
- 全身？ - 对 - Full body? - Yeah.
标准检查就是全身的 没错 Well, standard checkup is full body. Yeah.
你有没有检查 Did you examine...
- 所有地方？ - 所有的都检查了 - everything? - Everything.
然后？ And?
我唯一想到的词是 The only word that comes to mind is, uh...
魔力 magical.
哦 天啊 Oh, my God!
- 发生了什么？ - 我不知道 - What happened? - I don't know!
来人啊 呃 丑鬼区有人癫痫发作了 Help! Uh, someone's having a seizure in the ugly section.
这里有人是医生吗？ Is anyone here a doctor?
没 不过我爸是医生 No. But my father is.
英语字幕来源：opensubtitles.org 字幕翻译与制作：610/小年糕/Yiran/744/聊无/moki